sometimes I am so darned scared of future.
Constantly I have thoughts of- will everything turn out OK? Will I live to see old age? Will I be healthy in 10 years time? At times I feel like if I could hide myself away into some place I would. It is just so annoying, because I can’t remember feeling like this before. I wasn’t afraid of half the things I am afraid of now.
And I know it’s not good to be thinking those scary thoughts. So, I try and find something inside me that brings a voice of reason into my daily life- Don’t worry; you’re overreacting; you’re going to be just fine like every other human being on this planet; cop on; get over it, cause you have things to do; silly girl.
I also feel like im going through life without understanding that I am actually getting older and should develop different attitudes, different look on life, maybe? A different approach to certain situations. I feel as if I am getting older but nothing else has changed, as if I haven’t learned anything of my being here this far. I mean- I haven’t trained myself to be ready for future… get me?
I am probably simply over-thinking. Do you do that sometimes? Go through all the scary case-scenarios and freak yourself out? I think these thoughts are the monsters under the bed for grown-ups. With these scary thoughts we stop living. Bummer!