“choice” or “born this way”?

So, I am seeing this really interesting discussion unfold on FB at the moment. And I haven’t commented on this yet, simply because I haven’t really thought of it a lot. Don’t shoot me for it! I just don’t want to say what I think if I am not sure, you know?

Topic- “should same sex marriage be legalized?”

I am seeing some interesting arguments on both sides and I really just can’t figure out which way I would rather think. I guess I am just a “grey area” person…And maybe being a “grey area person” is a bad thing. Are gay couples a threat to a nation/culture moving forward? Should gay-rights be banned on the basis of an argument which states that in democracy the minority will always win against the majority? Should the sacred institution of a family be “extended” to same-sex families and would children really be destroyed by it? Or would they be more culturally open?
When I am put in front of a choice- would I rather a child to grow up in a religious family or in a gay-family, I would choose the latter. Religion, in my eyes, only stumps one’s brain and “availability” to discover what life is really about. Maybe I am wrong. Given, that the gay-family has explained everything to their child and are giving the child a choice to find themselves on their own- yes, that would be my first choice. Because this is what every parent would do (hetero or gay). No, I do not have children, so what do I know right? Well, being a child myself a decade or so back- I was given the freedom by my parents to make my own choices about what I believed in and when I made a mistake I was made to learn from them. My mistakes were never wiped away by my parents nor were they simply “forgiven by God” …

Being a “grey area” person is safe. This way I don’t offend anyone (too much)… How could I explain myself without bringing down the wrath of either opposing side?

Let me try!


I have absolutely nothing (NOTHING) against gays. Whether the same-sex-marriage law is there or not, these people are still going to exist and live and share their lives with their partners. And good for them! Human being wasn’t meant to be alone. Yes, a bit of solitude will always help by finding one’s true self, but in life we all need a partner and whether they are the same sex or not- who am I to judge?


Opposing the same sex marriage law- is being “worried ” about the future of a nation, about the growth of one culture. Now, yes, culture is really really important. But here is where I can’t really side with those who oppose the same sex law. I am not worried about same sex marriage. No, let them at it. Let them enjoy life. As long as the family is treated fair and sincere- how could I oppose? What I do oppose is the so much loved integration! Integration of cultures (such as EU/World is aiming for) is  the real threat of a culture dying out. Ha! Now, you’re thinking- “But, Liis, You are in Ireland and INTEGRATING”… Yes, I am in Ireland but no, not integrating. If you want to argue about this with me- leave me a comment and let’s go!


Now, I might be wrong about all this but I do believe that a line should be drawn with everything. Every single person will always decide where their own personal limit lies. With some- their limits are only personal, helping them keep a clean conscious. With others- they are trying to think further ahead and for their nation? I am no one to say which one is right and which is wrong. I think a bit from both sides. What it all comes down to (and this is where I always end up at) is the individual level. We are all different. We all have different values, different beliefs and I really do not know what is right and what is wrong in this case.


Choice or born this way? No, it’s not a choice. Being straight or gay, in my opinion, is not a choice. It is person’s individual characteristics (for the lack of better way to put it?) What really matters in this life is- How pure and clean are our intentions? How corrupt we are or aren’t? How we treat others…

Seems like at this stage I have come to make up my mind and I have no ill-wit toward either side- we all have a right to be here  just the way we are and we will all have the right to believe in what we think is right. Instead of worrying about gay/straight rights start worrying about what religion is about to take over your “pure nation” and is actually killing the culture; start worrying about what your country allows to happen to your  Fatherland’s nature; start worrying about innocent people being killed by drones; start worrying about Earth being poisoned by fracking; start worrying about chemtrails; start worrying about the lies you are being fed through your TV and through the news; start worrying about endangered animals who have more of a right to live on this planet than us humans do and are going extint because of our actions;  start worrying about the rising number of homelessness; start worrying about the people who have NO rights at all (because in some countries things aren’ that great); start worrying about Guantanamo Bay still being in “action; start worrying about the medicines that are being pushed out to the market that are really just poisons…


I guess my point is- there are many evils on this planet that should be dealt with great passion. Giving rights to gays is not one of them. I understand if someone feels threatened by gay rights- it is their choice. My choice is to focus my “anti”-arguments towards religion.

Kind regards,



  1. I kind of hated you in the beginning of this, but in the end I don’t. A focus of anti arguments towards organized religion is a good step.

    I personally don’t want to get married until everyone can. Why people think it’s still okay to deny humans rights is blinding to me.
    I don’t think fear of the unknown is an acceptable reason for it not to change. Being afraid of gays getting married to me is like someone who is afraid of cotton balls. Fear is often covering ignorance. I hope one day the world is different! We can make it happen!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 🙂 Thank you for your comment! Indeed- this law is not going to change anything. The same sex marriage law is not going to start creating gays like mushrooms after rain. They already exist. It also struck me last night after publishing this post that it is mostly men that tend to have a higher tendecy for homophobia! It is generally men that have this right-out fear of gays while women don’t even take notice?
      Thanks for your input- I like the way you compared being afraid of gays to being afraid of cotton balls! 😀


      • Haha thanks. I think it’s because women tend to have a much more fluid sexuality, we find beauty in both sexes so I suppose we aren’t as afraid to like the same sex. Society also tells women that to like the same sex is “hot” or “desirable” where with men it hasn’t been that way.!


  2. Great discussion. As the mother of a gay child, I can say that people are born with their sexual preferences; these preferences are not a choice, nor do they develop from upbringing. Gays right to officially marry is just as essential as the hetero couples’ right to officially marry. I think the very existence of gays is only beneficial since our world is severely overpopulated; gays love, but don’t reproduce, thus giving us heteroes more space to have children. At the same time gay families often adopt children and provide loving homes and good education for them. Homo- and bisexualism is actually quite common across all species of animals, bats being the champions here. There is a great children’s book called “Tango” about two gay penguins (a true story, these penguins live in Boston Zoo) who become lovers and partners, and hatch out and bring up an orphaned baby penguin together. Being gay is as natural as being hetero, bi, or whatever else; all is good provided it brings joy and harms no-one. As of anti-religionism, I believe that there are many ways to God and all of them are all good and necessary for their pursuers. I personally am not baptised or denominated, but I appreciate the fact that attending a church gives many people the support they need to survive in life, and therefore churches are necessary. Maybe they don’t quite have to promote themselves so aggressively, but then, one doesn’t have to listen to them if one is not interested. There are many interesting things in the world to see and hear, and the gentle song of God can put out all useless noise as soon as one is willing to hear It… We all have a choice, and I personally consider arguing about anti-anything a great waste of Life. I’d rather play more music, have fun with my children, enjoy a walk, meditate… And be grateful for everything in life that is good. How about a discussion about things in life that are good? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Inna, for your input! 🙂 You’re just such a sincere soul!!! 🙂 I agree with everything you say.. and mostly because I believe everyone has a right to their opinion… Yes, as for religion and churches- of course- humans need to believe in some higher power.. but why Jesus? ah, religion is such a crazy topic for me- I would probably just need to write a separate post for this!

      Good question- how about a discussion about things that are good in life?- I don’t know- we take the good things in our life for granted and seem to remember and process the bad on a different level completely. Some people choose to not notice the bad things because they want to live a joyous and happy life and good for them! 🙂 This is what life is about… I still think, though, that having a discussion around whatever topics, be it religion, politics or racism has to be had! However bad it is… Hmm… But for the sake of balance- I will try and write about good things next time without the touch of “anti”-arguments! 😉


  3. I enjoyed this post. I say let them marry! The argument of religion is ridiculous to me because if a church is that against then don’t perform the ceremony. Let them have the same legal benefits of a straight couple. Besides as far as I’m concerned the only marriages that have had an impact on my life are those of my parents. And even then barely.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comment! 🙂 Yes, I agree- the only impact it has is on the people that allow it to have impact on them. The strongest point about gay-law is my belief it isn’t going to change anything anymore… Gay has existed a long long time and I can’t match the gay movement with anything cruel or bad that has happened… whereas you can string religion to bloodbaths etc…


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