Life’s many faces…

I have been to many places in my youth and I have met people, good and bad, everywhere. This post is to bring all those people into one place. I will try and introduce those people to you chronologically. I won’t mention any names. Just the actions.

I have met a man who called me a boy when I was 9 and another man call me a boy when I was in my 20s. Talk about crushing the self-esteem into million pieces.

I have met a man who hated my guts because he didn’t like my brother. There was a past there. Something with physics, sand and a muttered ‘go to hell’.

I have met a man who left his drunk, injured friend sleeping in a car under the roasting summer sun. The prick!

I have met a man who tried to buy off a 13 year old girl (me) so he wouldn’t have to pay for a ticket to go and watch a show. He got thick with me. I raised my voice and outed him to everyone around. Turns out he was a bus driver.

I have met a man who tried to shove my hand down his pants while he was driving and offer me 20 quid for a shag in the bushes by the side of the road. I had been hitch-hiking. Got away- undamaged- thankfully.

I have met a man that drove around in an armored Volvo (because he said if Russians opened fire towards his car, he would stay unharmed). He listened to Russian rap for the duration of the trip (hitching. Again.) and I felt as if I had the dealings with Russian mafia. I was too afraid to bat an eyelid during the whole drive but he never threatened me.

I have met a group of young men in the middle of a busy town street calling profanities at me because I like metal and they like disco. I didn’t really meet them. They deliberately ran into me to shove me around. Never did I manage to figure out what their problem was.

I have met an old man in his Audi offering me money in exchange for.. what? Whatever he wanted. I blocked it out of my ears. I walked past my house so he wouldn’t know where I lived (because he was driving slowly next to me as I walked) and after I got rid of him I sat in snow on a football pitch, smoking, until I felt it was safe to go home.

I have met an old man on a city bus who was old and wearing an old war-time coat with medals on it. Young school-prats on the same bus started bullying him. I got angry, I was hurt and ashamed by what those youngsters were doing to that old man. But he just kept his head high and I wanted to cry for him.

I have met a woman who snorted drugs off a mirror in my room because she didn’t want her boyfriend to know about it. Hmm. As if looking into her eyes didn’t give her away. Plus the cop car in front of the house for couple of weeks was hard not to see.

I have met a man who owned a hotel and had a new wife and a new baby. Yet he still put his grubby hands on my ass.

I have met a foreign man who thought I was the hotel-prostitute. I smacked him in the face in front of my boss.

I have met a man who thought walking around bollock-naked in a house full of strangers living together is OK and preached about his BDSM adventures to see if he could “widen the club” by getting all the house-mates interested.

I have met a man, a complete stranger, that tried to forcefully drag me back into the town for a drinking session after he had stopped me on the street to ask for time. He told me he was a soldier in the army. I broke free and ran. So much for “protecting the country”.

I have met a woman who disliked me because I didn’t dress “like everybody else normal does” and she made it clear&obvious in front of everyone.

I have met a couple who offered me to join them for a 3-some. Wow. At that time I hadn’t even lost my virginity. Flattered yet mentally slightly traumatized.

So- those incidents easily helped me hate the world and people in it, and a bit of myself.

To balance out the bad I have also met-

a lady that adored me because she liked my brother&sister. Of course, I couldn’t be any worse than them 🙂

a 70 something year old man who was witty. He lied the whole way about how he knew my teachers and how they had been drinking together (with the teachers that is) and upon the end of the trip (hitching again) he admitted he had made it all up. Cheeky old man! 🙂

two lads (yes, hitching again) who took a major detour just to get me closer to home. I was flattered as they were on the way to a party in Parnu and I have never met men who were not hurrying to open a bottle. Thanks!

another two lads who picked me up after I had been harassed and was crying by the side of the road. They took me to where I needed to go, safe and sound. Thanks!

a man who picked me up every morning (hitchin!) at the same time, same spot because I was going to work and he was passing anyway. We hardly ever spoke. How strange but I was always grateful.

a young Russian skinhead who had the most brilliant manners in front of women.

a punk who turned an orange into a miniature Halloween pumpkin with a black highlighter, walked into a group of my friends and gave it to me. We became friends after that, he was a brilliant artist. Sad and broken, but really good at arts.

an old lady who thought I was adorable.

a man who turned into an “older brother” when I was away from home, from my real older brother, studying.

I haven’t met the guy who rang me once each summer for 5 years in a row to talk to me on the phone for hours about life and world. Not a clue where he got my number, who they were and what has happened to them now? We never told each other our names, just talked about people, depression, the moments we were currently in.

For a long while in my life I did hate everyone. Every human being and I didn’t give a chance for anyone to really prove to me that there is also good there.

Now- I still dislike (because hate is a strong word) humans but with the balance and the benefit of the doubt that there are actually lovely, wonderful people out there. I suppose I have matured a bit and maybe even gotten used to the evil that lies within some humans to turn a blind eye to it and search for the good.

Also- quit hitch-hiking if you still do it. All of the above kind of sounds as if I was looking for trouble. I was young and stupid and fearless. I must have had a guardian angel 🙂

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