Pron* Extraordinaire!

*** Indirect profanity, vulgarity ahead. Proceed with caution!***

* Yes, I typed Pron, not… it was intentional.

OK… so… I obviously have friended and follow some interesting people on Goodreads who sometimes read the most outrageous books. Some of the titles alone I have come across have these shining neonlights that scream – “Run! Run for your pure innocent soul and never let the existence of this book taint your ladylike view of all things intimate!”

One thing led to another and basically it was a case of, either read Trailer Park Virgin or be grounded… and I don’t want to be grounded at the age of 29 by a father named Eddie I didn’t know I had in the US of A. As you can see, my arm got twisted, badly, into joining the dark side. *I hope you can get the joke aspect in there, however Eddie did tell me to read it or be grounded*

Whooh… I took a deep breath, thought- “Fudge it, I’ll risk it for a biscuit” and dove right in. Because- Challenge accepted, right?! NB! I used the word ‘fudge’ to take some edge off the proniness of this book. Bloody hell… 51 pages of… I mean, if this book was a film- boys would have a field day in front of their PCs with a pile of tissues and no lube necessary!

Oh but…

This… this… I need a shower… and not because I’m so high-strung like a broken violin after reading this short and sordid tale but because I literally feel dirty. But at the same time, I’m not completely dead inside either, you know?!

Make it three showers. And plunge a bottle-brush through my ears to scrub my brain of any memory of this book. Why do I call it sordid? Because… *see blurb below*

Rick’s been raising little Gracie for the past five years. She even calls him Daddy, but recently things have started to change, and that name has started to have a whole different feel to it.

Ty’s lived with Rick since he lost his parents in a car accident. Then Gracie came into their lives and the world seemed to light up, but the brotherly feelings he once had are now long forgotten as little Gracie has turned into a woman.

Gracie doesn’t know what to do with her feelings for Rick and Ty: the two men who once felt like a father and brother to her. They’ve been her whole world since her mom skipped town, leaving her all alone in a trailer park. But something has to change. She wants them both, and she’ll have them one way or another.

Now… ‘she’ll have them one way or another’ gave me shudders… I’m not a believer of The God (I’m more into gods, the extraterrestrial sort) but these 51 pages of a pron-fest (because that’s the only and the best way to describe this sinful creation) made me sigh out- ‘Jesus!’ in a shaky voice cause I got scared. I think I’m too innocent for this stuff. Or even prudish!

Even though there is no incest because the 3 characters are not actually related, they do insist on calling each other ‘brother’, ‘sister’, ‘Daddy’ which makes the whole thing even more… it just feels wrong.. and unrealistic because it’s an inhumane banging fest. I mean… I’d like to see, purely for medical reasons, someone who could literally pull off what was described in the book on a 24/7 basis for an extended time period. It was like ‘Pass the Parcel’ where Gracie was the parcel…

I will spare you the examples of quotes from the book… They’re just…something that should stay in between everyone’s bedroom doors (or whatever your preferred place of pleasure is) rather than on my blog, yeah? Yet there it is, in a smutty published book form helping Mary down the road get the gears going before the husband who doesn’t do foreplay comes home from work and demands to be bedded.Β  Mary reads a page (yes, only a page needed) of the book and is ready to do her ‘chores’… Anyways, I have lived, I have read and now- I have read something totally off the charts- I can die a happy woman because ‘unless you try you won’t know’. Right? *that’s just me finding excuses*

OMG.. basically, do not read this book! Or read this book if you’re into literal pron and are feeling frisky. But if you want a laugh then head over to the book’s Goodreads page and read the reviews, 5 star and 1 star reviews, all of them… I laughed so hard my eyes were wet!

My rating- hell no, I ain’t stepping into that bucket. I will not give this book a rating to actually give away how much I did or didn’t like the read! XD

 

23 comments

    • XD hahaha, yes, this book… I wish I had backed out of the ‘challenge’ and not read it… but it was fun to write this review…
      and even though I would love to get famous for writing entertaining reviews for utterly crazy books.. I don’t think I could handle too many of those XD

      Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

      Like

  1. That’s one sick sexfest there! XD My, my, my. I loved how you used the Mary down the road line, it shows Ireland has really seeped into you :D. I don’t believe I’ve ever tried a book this wrong, but I get it. I’d probably feel something like “Should I be aroused now or gag?”. Brave gal, you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No lube necessary! πŸ˜‚ Lol Nice! I read a book that sounds similar. There was a cult involved and the two MCs pretended to be brother and sister but weren’t related. I liked the book, but this sounds much worse than that. Hmm… I almost want to read it just to see why I’d need to take 3 showers. πŸ˜‚ I think even I might be too prudish for this one and that’s really saying something.

    Liked by 1 person

    • XD yeah at some stage your mind draws a line… but, eh… even tho theres some stuff out there I think should never see daylight, books are art and anything is possible in art πŸ™‚
      But this one.. it’s like 51 pages or smth, so if you curiosity gets the better of you, no worries, it’s an hour’s read πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • After I commented last night, I decided to look on Amazon and it was free with my Kindle Unlimited subscription. Wow! I give you credit for making it through this book. I made it up to the girl’s first POV chapter and couldn’t do it anymore. And here I thought I could make it through any smut book. πŸ˜‚ I wonder what would possess someone to write that. Oh the shame. πŸ™ŠπŸ™ˆ

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hahaha..yeah, I considered stopping 3 pages in as well but said, yera, I’, in this bloody mess now so I might as well, for the sake of writing a review…
          I also considered doing a word count for ‘pussy’ but said to myself- Please don’t! XD
          Overall- yes, I’m in awe at the level of smut in this… obviously the author was possessed by the Sex Demons XD

          Liked by 1 person

          • I was thinking about writing a rant for it since I review so many romance/smut books. I think you’d lost track if you counted pussy. πŸ˜‚ Maybe I’ll read the rest so I can make fun of it. I was in complete awe from the very start. I thought well this is why some people are snobby about indie authors. You can publish just about anything now. Yeah, I’d say possessed is a good word for this author.

            Liked by 1 person

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