It is always interesting to hang around in airports. I mean- I have been tucked away in the lovely, peaceful, relatively sane area of West Kerry, Ireland and traveling up to Dublin quarterly tends to be a shocking experience for me. Every. Single. Time.

I am just so amazed by people. I mean, there’s a colorful crowd out there. We seem to tick very expected “human-things”, when occur in public, into the “crazy box”. I’m slightly ashamed to admit but I also found a lot of people distasteful (without using the strong word disgusting). Yes, I am sorry!

Few thoughts from my yesterday’s work related travel:

I was in Kerry airport at the tender morning hour of 6:30. Businessmen, shoppers, tourists. Not many of course, because there’s only so many people a miniature plane can transport. It struck me that the waiting area at the gates, at that very morning, could have used a live band. Something with lovely double bass drums! And possibly to the theme of Marilyn Manson cover band! L, O, L! What a kick-start would that be to a day! I would have pissed myself laughing just looking at people’s horrified faces. Sure made my day, imagining it!

Fast forward to evening, post-meeting. I took the shuttle bus back to airport. A man in oily work clothes sat in front of me. I had a feeling he wasn’t Irish due to the hair color and facial features. And, for some reason my eyes were glued to his jaw- he seemed to be heavily pondering about something- you know, the twitch people get right under their ear, when grinding teeth? I guess he could feel someone was staring because he shot a stern look at me as if trying to challenge me to admit me staring.

In front of Terminal 1 there was what appeared to be a gang of 8 men who seemed to have stepped out of a Hell’s Angel’s MC. All in their late 40s, dressed to the menacing looking leather vests, pants and chains. Sporting beards, tousled hair and gloomy looks on their faces. Fantastic! What made the group even more fantastic in my eyes was the fact they were surrounded by the lovely smell of cherry tobacco! How bloody uncharacteristic is that? I bet there was licorice rolling papers involved, as well, you know, for a better flavor experience! Mmm, yum, cherry tobacco rolled in licorice paper!

Moving on- the planes seemed to be delayed. had to sit around on not very accommodating airport benches for more than an hour. As soon as I heard my behind screaming at me I decided to stand… That got some looks from surrounding people. “Why is she standing? Can she not take it easy? The plane ain’t going to leave without her! Jeesh!” Well, to explain myself- my ass had seen more chair during the day that I could manage. In fact, I was beginning to feel the taste of leather and metal in my mouth.

Left stage, roll in the person who made me inwardly cry. They were sitting next to me and I just couldn’t take my eyes off them. They were eating a pack of Tayto’s (that’s potato crisps to everyone who isn’t Irish) and seeing them literally stick all the fingers they used for eating into their mouth was just- ew! I mean, it wasn’t just a simple lick-lick. Literally, 2 fingers and a freaking thumb. And they stayed in their mouth for like what seemed to be a minute. I could see them working their tongue around the fingers trying to gather as much Tayto flavor-dust as possible. I was frozen with mortification! Why it freaked me out so much is the simple fact that alongside cheese and onion powder they also seemed to be mouth-f*****g the various germs from every single thing they had touched. I know,  it’s just my problem. The germ-freak attacks again. But, really, every railing that has been touched be millions of people before you. Might as well get on your knees and lick the public toilet floor. Sorry.

Move on to boarding time- I believe I am quite a polite person. I always let people ahead of me when they queue up the gate. The fact I motioned a gentleman to go ahead before me speaks in volumes. And my feminine side got a kick in the gut. 😀 Shouldn’t they have tried to save their masculinity and go “Oh, please, after you!”??? I am just having a laugh really, I don’t care that much for the common courtesy code from others if it is not provided. Yeah, that statement can just open up a new can of worms, but we are just talking about this one little thing here.

On the plane. The Finger-licker was probably in the process of quitting smoking because they were coughing so badly I wanted to shove my water bottle down their throat. I mean, cough, you can’t help it, but if it sounds like you’re accommodating a phlegm demon within you then yeah, bleeding ears and bile! The conservative looking lady next to me was mortified, throwing looks toward the Finger-licker. The kick in the story is that the Conservative Lady herself coughed without a minute’s rest throughout the flight. Ha, talk about a great example of hypocrisy.

Anyway, these were the observations. I am glad to be back in a rural area where run in’s with a lot of people is limited. I am living in a sweet, fluffy existence of people. Away from all the reality. I don’t know if I could manage a freaking day in a city! Yet, I find us, humans, absolutely fascinating, hilarious, crazy and weird.