Born Yesterday by Tatter Jack

  Note: this review includes some bad language. Proceed at your own risk.

No, not here—down there.
See her? The woman behind the rock? The one with a Glock 43 in her hand? That’s Schae Summers, fantasy author. She only came to Scotland to do some book research. Not to be chased over the heather by a wolf. Because everybody knows there aren’t any wolves in Scotland, right?
Well right now Schae’s wishing someone had told the one behind her.
But being chased is one thing—even if it’s by a wolf. Being chaste? That’s something else entirely. Especially where men with storm grey eyes are concerned. Men like Darek Banakar—who just might be more dangerous than any wolf.
So here she is. Schae Summers. She’s smart, and she’s hip. She wasn’t born yesterday – but she’s going to be.

What’s the book about? It’s about many things. It’s a story about fighting a villain, a story about woman meeting man, a story about love and a story about overcoming past and present challenges.

There’s Schae, a woman who doesn’t really know anything about her past. She wakes up in a hospital, without an single memory about her past life and has some wicked nightmares every night. She uses her nightly terrors to start writing books as a successful fantasy author and essentially builds herself as normal as possible a life. Her body is covered in scars and she has no clue where she got them from… until she does. In the hospital they told her she had had a child but she has no idea where that child now is…. until she does. dun-dun-duuunnn!

I said it already— I wasn’t born yesterday. I know there’s no such thing as magic. Thing is, apparently there are such things as wolves who aren’t always wolves, and guards who think butt-naked women are cats.

Schae ends up going to Scotland for research for her next book and ends up meeting Darek! The mostly man with storm grey eyes (yet otherwise not that pretty as Schae seems to think) lives in the Middle of Nowhere, Scotland in a cottage and he blushes. Awww… So what do I mean when I say mostly man? Ha! This is part of the mystery with this book… I was kept guessing until the end… a vampire? a werewolf? an angel? Evil? Good? Psycho?

Darek is a bit of a mystery, as I said, as he acts a total gentleman throughout the book except when he’s… doing something… with a knife. The dialogue by him comes with a warning from me: it gets frustrating because he’s so secretive! Until the very end!

Then there’s Katya… a wolf who is girl, or a girl who is wolf. Always naked, always sporting a one track mind which alternates in between rabbits and pretty girls. She also thinks human words are so empty. Empty! But she knows how to appreciate when she sees a pretty woman and she can kick ass.

The Moon… peeps! The Mooooon gets a little role in this book as well! A talking witty moon. Plus some weird branch like being who can blow doors open? ‘Nuff said!

So woman meets man. Weird things happen, lots of chemistry happens, nightmares are really not nightmares anymore and a there’s a man on a mission determined to eliminate Darek. A story within story within story, Schae ends up discovering who she really is, what her past has always been and what her future is going to look like. Will she do as is foreseen or will she refuse to give up without a fight?

The ending wraps everything up nicely, all the questions that went unanswered for most of the story get answers and there actually truly is a proper plot and story, even though I can’t tell you any much more because that would ruin it for you should you want to read Born Yesterday. I love how the focus around being born yesterday eventually becomes a centrepoint to the plot and the author used it wisely. It’s not often when a book’s title gives you a hint and the conclusion all in one.

For me it was a fun, fast paced, mysterious and untraditional read. I think it definitely cannot be categorized under the ‘follow the protocol’ kind of novel. After all Born Yesterday is packaged in fantasy with a touch of humor and romance with a firm touch of touching in the mix which came with its own surprising element… which means…

Let’s talk about sex! When I said ‘a touch of touching’ I meant there’s some serious ‘ants in pants’ motions in between Schae and Darek. One would wonder- are they long lost lovers trying to get to each other through time-rifts and across dimensions. It was cute…

It’s quiet now. I don’t know why I like to watch you, afterwards. To watch you sleeping. But I do. And this is after, and before was what it always is— a wonder and, somehow, a delightful terror. A great, breaking wave and you make me into the whole sky and a single flying leaf at the same time. But that was then and this is now. And now? Now it’s quiet, and I watch you sleep.

Isn’t that a lovely quote? It is, I think. There was quite a few examples of this kind of writing in Born Yesterday and I really felt those quotes in that cold space where my heart should be. It was for that reason, those pretty thoughts and written lines that when words like ‘cunt’ and ‘cock’ were used I was like- awh, shit! 😀 I don’t mind when people are having at it but the use of those words in this case simply came like a bucket of cold water because I just freaking didn’t expect it at all. Not at all. I thought the story got tainted! But if there’s one thing I don’t mind while reading book, then it is to be surprised. Now, don’t get me wrong, Born Yesterday isn’t full of profanity nor is it a full blown fantasy/erotica. There are about 2-3 sex scenes and yet there’s more of ‘dancing around the issue’ and focus on the plot than the usually dreaded erotica would deliver. And after pondering over the book for a day or two I now accept that this is just that kind of book and I don’t really mind and “stop being a word-Nazi, Liis”. After all… isn’t ‘cunt’ the one word I call every piece of equipment that refuses to work for me at home? Yes, yes it is!

Anyway, moving on… I wanted to share an excerpt of an interview from TatterJack’s website on writing erotica. I think the “you can’t write erotica- only read it” gave me quite a bit of food for thought. As most of my followers would know I’m not a huge fan of erotica. It’s dry and emotionless and selfish. Unless the genre of erotica is broken and comes with “a story, a social commentary, a plot”.

Q: OK. So you write erotica, but…

A: No.

Q: Er – say what? It says right there on your front page that you…

A: Yes. I know. I’m sorry. That’s the Great Sin of Marketing(tm). You sort of have to get certain words in, and ‘erotica’ is one of them. But really, I don’t think you can. Or rather, I don’t think I can. Write erotica, I mean. To me, erotica’s a bit like humour. Just because it’s got hard nipples in doesn’t make it erotic. After all, it might just be a description of Michelangelo’s David. And like humour, one guy’s Mary is another girl’s Jane. So words that make one person hot, to someone else can be just tab A in Slot B (yes, Jones Minor. I can see you sniggering at the back. See  me after class.) So for me, you can’t write erotica – only read it.

Q: So, without being funny, erotica is like humour?

A: Oh, I hope it can be funny. Or at least amusing. After all, when you think about it, pretty much all of sex is pretty damn ridiculous. And that’s sort of what I want you to do. When you read things Tatters has written, I mean. Think about sex. Laughter? That’s a bone… ahem. I mean, a bonus blush.


I ended up swapping a few emails with TatterJack himself which was quite interesting and I ended up requesting more information… This is what I got back from him:

So. Lady Liz very kindly asked me if I’d like to write a follow-up post to her review of BORN YESTERDAY. So I asked her what she might like. She said, well, things like, maybe writing habits. I was going to tell her. About the peanut butter (definitely only the crunchy kind). And the aspidistras. But I remembered the last time I told someone. I have to say, the police officers were very polite when they knocked on the door. And Tasers are really rather…
Ahem. Right. Perhaps we’d better not go there again (blush).
But there’s more to writing habits – at least, TJ’s habits – than peanut butter and aspidistras. Or even Tasers :-). So what are the printable bits? Well, a lot of what I write as TJ starts out, even if it ends up as a novel, as a short story. Or rather, a micro-short story. BORN YESTERDAY started out as a piece called THE DAY WE DIDN’T – only 1,830 words. And DAY itself started out as a single picture in my head. Two people standing on top of a hill, part dressed in the pouring rain. Because to me, a picture like that is both the beginning of something – and the end. When I say the two people are part clothed, sex tends to come (quiet, Jones Minor!) into things. But if the picture isn’t about the sex, isn’t about the rain – if it’s about the _people_? Can I get all of that into those words, less than 2000, and leave a reader satisfied? Or better – _not_ satisfied? Leave them glad they read it, but with questions, wanting to know more? And sometimes, even though they say in showbiz ‘always leave them wanting more’ – sometimes?
Sometimes the ‘more’ just has to happen.
As I’ve said somewhere else – I think every piece of writing should have a sequel. At least one, anyway. But one the author never writes. One the reader can’t help but write – in their own head, for themselves. Like I had to for that picture. And for the DAY it made. BORN YESTERDAY? Maybe I’ll leave that sequel to you. Maybe… (Big Evil Grin).

I hope this post has been entertaining. It sure has been for me… Born Yesterday was … something else! 🙂 … I liked how the mystery aspect kept me guessing until the end, I really enjoyed the characters, especially the fantastical characters (hehe, so, all of them!) and I really really liked some of the beautiful writing in places. The fantasy element was intriguing and the setting easy to picture. The couple of romps were, I guess, unexpected bonuses but they kind of fit into the story as well.

My rating: 4****

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  1. Hahaha, I saw bad language and went like “Where da party at?!”. I totally didn’t know where you were going to go with this review at first (if you ended up liking it or if there was a full on rant about to come XD), which very aptly matched with the mystery around Darek’s identity 😀 I don’t know if you did this intentionally but either way: awesome!! 😀 I don’t like seeing those 2 words popping up in my books either. It just takes away the only sense of romance I was able to feel before (still dead inside 😉 ). But if it was only used in a couple of scenes, ah, what the heck right? LOVED the extra bits from the author! The interview and the personal one!
    In short: I LOVED this entire post! And the touch of touching? Brilliant!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Ants in pants and men with knives who are what?! This review was incredibly fun and made my morning 😊 My hat is off to you. You added so many great elements with the author’s responses and the humor.

    I admit that this one still has me thinking as I try to grasp what is exactly happening in this book, but maybe that is the fun of it all!

    Trying to flag it on my phone to look at more after work if I don’t crash. Love it, love it, love it!

    Liked by 2 people

      • “Yeah, the moon was cool… too bad she is only there towards the end of the book…”

        That’s the thing with moons. They’re sneaky :-). Just because you don’t think you can see them doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not there (Big Evil Grin). An evil author might ask, for instance, why Der-Ilei was on the moor the night she saw… But no. Spoilers! Or what Katya heard through An Sùil – and who said it (Big-er Evil-er Grin).
        My thanks for thy kind words, wise one and fair – and (without wanting to commit the Great Sin of Marketing(tm)) – if anyone else wants to review BORN, I’m sure you know where to point them :-).

        Liked by 1 person

  3. With certain words of the four letter variety, context is everything. Get it wrong and it’s more like a freezing Arctic winter, fully clothed or otherwise. Erotic – I don’t think so.
    But a good review!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish this author would write a real chicklit book 😉 or something, he seem so funny. As for this book, yeah great review but I’m going to stay from this book because that quote alone, lovely as it is, is like hearing Shakespeare and having to think very hard to get the exact meaning. Maybe it’s just me but all that poetry language is not my thing (unless it’s CoHo).


    • Lady Inge
      At the risk of committing the Great Sin of Marketing(tm), I can truly say the rest of the book (well, apart from a point where that scene is revisited) is, um, in a rather different style. Certainly less poetry (though in Katya’s case, more rabbits 🙂 ).
      If there’s any chance at all I might be able to change your mind, let me know. I’d love to see your review of it :-).
      I’ll give in to my own temptation, if I may, and try to tempt you with some non-Shakespeare. I’m sure Lady Liz will just delete this if it’s in any way improper :-):

      Let me tell you something about Scottish heather. It’s all the bloody same! I mean, sure. It starts off pretty. Like, ‘oh, look. The heather!’ Then we tramp a few miles, and it’s not so much ‘oh, look. The heather!’ It’s more ‘Ah. Heather.’ We tramp a few more miles and I get to ‘so, um, Darek—have you ever thought of going into the daffodil business?’ A few miles more, and I’m screaming. ‘Please GOD! Please! Ragweed. Sagebrush. Poison bloody Ivy! I’ll take any of them—just no more bloody HEATHER!’ Of course, I’m screaming it inside. And then I forget everything. Like, everything. Because my foot catches in a tussock. I stumble, and the rather ordinary guy I’m with, though not, like, ‘with’, because it’s just, like, book research, grabs my hand to hold me up. Then I love heather all over again. Hell, I love anything that might make the definitely-not-ordinary guy grab my hand again. And I start looking for more tussocks to catch my foot in. But they all seem to have decided it’s time to take their annual vacation.


      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lady Liz
    Well, far be it from me to argue with someone who gave me a four star review – but, um, I’m going to! Argue, I mean (blush).
    I think, and it’s only my opinion and I’m an Idiot 🙂 , that too often authors think that _is_ what bookbloggers are for. To just be a part of their Marketing armoury. Places they can bask in admiration, and to which they can send potential readers. While quietly ignoring those who, perhaps, didn’t give them such good reviews.
    I’d rather take a different view. That bookbloggers are for rather different people. For the bloggers themselves (if people even began to _think_ about the amount of sheer work a blog like this one takes, they’d run screaming), and about readers. Because there are far more authors out there, and even far more good ones, than readers have time to find. So in the interests of simplicity, readers tend to stick with authors they know. But it’s places like this that bring other writers to their attention. Both to say ‘hey, you should maybe take a look at this!’ – and to say the opposite. That, um, maybe there are reasons to _not_ 🙂 .
    So if I may, my thanks to all bookbloggers – whether they like my work or not. Because I’m a reader too – and I’d also I’m genuinely grateful for a way other readers can find what they want – what they’d like – whether it’s mine or not.
    OK. So yes – I really don;t mind at all if it _is_ mine :-).
    Lady Liz, you’re a wonder. As, I’m sure, are many others I’ve seen here but have not yet been fortunate enough to get to know. My thanks to all of you!


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