125072516“A wildly entertaining read.”—The Washington Post

What if we’ve been reading Jane Austen and romantic classics all wrong? A literary scholar offers a funny, brainy, eye-opening take on how our contemporary love stories are actually terrifying.

Covering cultural touchstones ranging from Normal People to Taylor Swift and from Lord Byron to The Bachelor, The Darcy Myth is a book for anyone who loves thinking deeply about literature and culture—whether it’s Jane Austen or not.You already know Mr. Darcy—at least you think you do! The brooding, rude, standoffish romantic hero of Pride and Prejudice, Darcy initially insults and ignores the witty heroine, but eventually succumbs to her charms. It’s a classic enemies-to-lovers plot, and one that has profoundly influenced our cultural ideas about courtship. But what if this classic isn’t just a grand romance, but a horror novel about how scary love and marriage can be for women?

In The Darcy Myth, literature scholar Rachel Feder unpacks Austen’s Gothic influences and how they’ve led us to a romantic ideal that’s halfway to being a monster story. Why is our culture so obsessed with cruel, indifferent romantic heroes (and sometimes heroines)? How much of that is Darcy’s fault? And, now that we know, what do we do about it?

Source Format Pages Publisher Genre Publication Date
Netgalley eARC 240 Quirk Books Nonfiction November 7th, 2023

Read in December, 2023. Found the review draft, decided to hit publish.

My thanks to La La in the Library for buddy reading this with me! Always a pleasure!

First things first, a couple of disclaimers:

1. This is not a review as such, more of a post about things from this theory that I’d like to offer counterpoint on.

2. I wanted to just review this book with a ‘Nope.’ and leave it at that but then thought, you know, I can’t just keep it to myself. I know I may not make any friends by revealing my experience with this opinion-piece by Feder, but feck it, diversity in opinion enrichens.

3. I am not an Austen fan. I can’t say that I enjoy her writing style. If you came to me for classics recommendations in the romance genre, I would point you towards ‘Jane Eyre’ by Charlotte Bronte.

4. In the battle of Misters, I will forever bat for Mr Rochester. If you’re now wondering who Mr Rochester is, then it is most definitely time for you to read ‘Jane Eyre’. I said what I said. Mr Darcy does not win this fight.

5. I am not a British literature expert, so I write based solely on my own common sense and logic, limited and different to yours as it might be.

***

I highlighted something on every page of The Darcy Myth, with a personal note of bafflement, or exclamation of profanity, or in simple incredulity. I will attempt to bring examples of what the book proposes and what my personal thoughts on it are. Feel free to disagree and debate to your heart’s content in the comments.

The thesis Rachel Feder proposes in The Darcy Myth is this: “[…]literature trains women to spend their time changing assholes into sensitive men instead of overthrowing the patriarchy.”

That is, in other words: women are attracted to, and women put up with shit from, bad boys because of Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. See, Mr Darcy redeemed himself to Lizzie by a couple of (questionable) actions and this has made women think that all ‘fuccbois’ (as author calls them, English professor, may I add) can be, with a bit of patience and willingness to survive the bad things, counted on for a happily ever after.

And, with a shake of the head I call BULLSHIT on all of this. Do not make a mistake, unthinkingly, and blame fiction for making said mistake. It doesn’t work that way. If this was an actual solid claim, then by that same claim we can say that man (as in humans, not gender) turns evil because they read psychological thrillers or horror genre or play video games or listen to Marilyn Manson or Black Sabbath. It’s ridiculous.

I would also ask this: are we seriously STILL believing that we can change someone? A relationship does not change a person – and nor should it – and anyway, WHY did you choose a person to be your partner if all you wanted to do was ‘train’ them to your liking? Mother of god, just stop. I’m probably going off on a bit of tangent here, but consider this: how can some couples remain together for 50 or more years? For one, yes, maybe they were the almost non-existent percentage of people in the world to actually find their soulmate. Maybe. But more than likely it is because these 2 people together accept each other as they are, they actually like the other person as they are, with their flaws and they compromise if something becomes unbearable. They compromise. There’s no such thing as Partner A asking Partner B to stop being who they are. How have we still not accepted that fact at large? The man is not in this relationship ONLY to bend to the woman’s every whim, wish, demand. The man is also a human being with their own self, with their emotions, with their own goals and wishes, different to those of the woman’s as they may be. And you either make it work, without manipulation; or you don’t. In which case 2 people go their own way. This is the reality that I believe in. If I have been in a bad relationship or ended up in a situation that can’t be bettered, then I only have my own self to blame. My self, and my choices. Not a book I may have read when I was n years old, definitely not a romance novel.

Anyway, let’s get into it with some examples.

“Why do we believe, against all evidence, that someone who’s constantly low-key negging us and only texts back after midnight is suddenly going to turn into M. Darcy? We think this because of fucking Darcy, that’s why! Literature is full of lies.”

Okay, first of all, speak for yourself, lady. Second of all, I don’t know why? Why indeed? I don’t get why anyone would do this? And thirdly, literature… we’re talking fiction here. Beats me why anyone would live their life according to fiction. It’s not some kind of genetic trait or family tradition that is being passed down through generations. One word: accountability. Your own personal choices are what make your life, and that includes your romantic choices. You have a brain. Draw the line in between reality and fiction. Don’t blame literature.

“The stories we’re brought up on are more than just stories. They become our personal mythologies.”

This is great. Yes, these stories do become more than just a story, but they should perhaps be a learning point as opposed to an instruction manual. If we can see the moral of the story, if we can see the right from wrong in a story, then it’s up to us to act, and actively make the choice, to not repeat the mistake. The Darcy Myth, it seems to me, proposes that all women want to train their bad boys like house pets because Darcy eventually came through. And that women want to do this because we have read the book and are too stupid to know better, to choose better, to care for ourselves better. It’s outrageous. And frankly, we’re bordering on manipulation here. As I said earlier – do not get together with someone and then try to bend them to your will. Your partner is a human being that does not have to dance to your tune. You don’t like the tune, you find a new instrument.

Jane Austen wrote in a deeply heteronormative, patriarchal time, and the persistent cultural work of the Darcy myth is, in large part, to uphold patriarchal structures and excuse toxic masculinity.

I would argue that Austen’s work is not meant to be an excuse for toxic masculinity. The purpose of literature, like Shelley or Bronte demonstrated, was to write SO WELL that you could hide your act of rebellion against current society without the fear of losing their social standing.

Why would you like someone better once they’ve ghosted you? They said, because of Darcy. They said, for the same reason you want a Chick-fil-A on Sundays when it’s closed: because your brain wants what you can’t have. They said, because you want to be wanted.

The above quote is what professor Feder received as an answer from her students when discussing love and relationships. If that doesn’t display immaturity then I rest my case. Are we seriously comparing being in a relationship with someone to wanting some fast food? Truly? If someone emotionally hurts me, it does not make me like the person more. That’s on YOU to recognize and accept that this is not right and perhaps you deserve better and to MOVE ON! It’s not Darcy from Pride and Prejudice keeping this ‘dangerous toxic masculinity’ alive. It’s ourselves, wearing our naive entitlement on our shoulders. Us. We. Our responsibility. Not the damn book.

Because Jane Austen’s works are actually super dark, cannily blending horror into the love stories they serve up. These tales and their hidden monsters have become indelibly linked to our ideas of romance, which means that, by getting Austen wrong, we’ve gotten romance wrong, too. Because, while Austen’s heroines often get their happily ever after (a feature so important and familiar to romance fans that they simply refer to it as an HEA), they also illuminate the very real ways in which love is scary for women. And when we fail to heed their warnings, we throw ourselves into dangerous situations in the name of love. Put another way, we can love Jane Austen, but we shouldn’t always trust her.

Oh, stop! 😀

Feder then did a deep dive into Pride and Prejudice, and honestly, I disagreed with her take on the Bennett parents.

But unfortunately, if one makes a claim that is questionable, early on, it is not unheard of to take the following with a pinch of salt.

Furthermore, I would have personally hated her classes because to analyze Taylor Swift lyrics or reality shows, or over-analyze Twilight into something that it is not when it comes to romance – I’m sorry, but fuck this.

And I was REALLY pissed off when Feder ruined a classic book because she thinks it shouldn’t be read. She gives away the ending of the book, the whole point of the book and then she says: I spoiled this one on purpose; don’t read it.

Excuse me? What?

As a final thought… Consider this. Has Pride and Prejudice CREATED the romantic guidelines that we live according to in this very day and age? Or, have real life people INSPIRED Pride and Prejudice, and we have really not evolved emotionally enough to act and behave in any other way? I think the latter and thus the point of the book is moot.

As a matter of fact, this is whole experiment with this theory is a great example to make in a company’s marketing meeting – the one where we say: And remember! A hundred praises can take a long time to travel from person to person, but one bad review is like a wildfire. It is so, that we have a handful of people, a handful!, writing books about bad men and by the gods, all men must be bad! 1 star. Would not recommend. Just, jesus wept.

Was it a badly written book? Considering the wordmanship only? No, not at all. The written word flowed and it will appeal to the younger readership who use words like fuccboy and who have yet to shed the naivete of youth from their shoulders and minds.