a comedown

If you like your recreational drugs, then my comedown would compare to your comedown from cocaine, shrooms, I don’t know… I am not a drug expert, What else would trigger a comedown? All drugs?

If you are adrenaline junkie, then my comedown would compare to your comedown from adrenaline rush when your body, after a tense period crashes and catches up to what happened and starts to shiver.

If you are a regular booze and fags kind of person then my comedown would compare to a nuclear hangover.

I didn’t realize I needed to take a breather until I took a breather. I hadn’t planned to take days off from work because my to-do list is longer than a ******* *** (fill in at your own will, I couldn’t possibly out this on white and black because I’d probably tracked down and put behind bars)

When my office manager realized I had only used 3 days of my entitled 14, he opened the calendar and told me it was my last chance to use as many days as possible before the year is over and that he would see me in the office again on the 5th. Tomorrow is 29th. I have been off work for 4 days and I feel I have withdrawals. Tomorrow I will be working from home. I have mailers to send out and a big project to get done that I haven’t a slightest of clues how to even start. I haven’t a slightest clue what I have to do. But in order to start you gotta start from the beginning.

I was alright until this morning. I had spent my days reading with the occasional mandatory housekeeping and cooking. Mostly reading.

I read 8 books in the last few days. So, naturally this morning the genetically transferred family-trait named Guilt hit me the very moment I opened my eyes. (yeah, Guilt can’t be genetically transferred, but you’d swear it was nearly possible!)

So, this is my comedown. I don’t know what to do with myself. With all the time I have in my hands and it freaking depresses me. I want to wake up early to be progressive, yet i want to sleep all day cause I now have the opportunity.

In the last few days, I can’t even remember which day, I found myself angered again. Oh yes, I was watching a show about a zoo. They were helping animals and also doing some support work internationally. Which was a nice surprise, I didn’t think nicely of zoos before, but some people really do go out of their way to help a species thrive. Needless to say, it was making me cry of joy.

And then I wondered, after remembering a show of elephants where a Mother-elephant had to travel with a fairly newborn calf of hers to find water through the desert and the baby died because of thirst and the way the mother looked heartbroken and I was crying in front of the telly, why… why was it not OK for the cameraman/crew to get water for the elephants?

I realize that to a certain extent you need to leave animals be. “They would become to attached and trusting otherwise, and dependent” .. but I thought- why is it NOT still OK to have man-made watering holes that get filled with water occasionally? Is this silly? Am I totally stupid and ignorant? I know, it’s a desert in Africa, humans don’t have water but surely there are riches in the world which would help fund this?

Call me naive, I just wish there was something I could do. I wish some things were different, that’s all.

I watched “Guardians of the Galaxy” twice and the soundtrack has been playing non-stop…Press play and get immersed.. Modern pop-music offers nothing… and I mean an empty zero-effect nothing in comparison…

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