Juggling two languages daily, I admit, confuses the hell out of my brain some times.
Like today (and every other day) I just felt frustrated. First, I had to write an email in English and my grey matter was literally running through a jungle of Estonian words trying to translate text into acceptable English and even with all my might I just could not form a sentence. Open Google translate. *sigh*
10 minutes later I had to write an email in Estonian. And what do you know? I have only English words in my thoughts. I mean, I had to Google translate for the word “update”, only to realize it’s not really possible to use it in context in Estonian.
Why is my mind playing tricks on me and why can’t it multitask when I really need it and why is it so difficult to form a coherent sentence at times?
It’s like I’m stuck in between heaven and hell and my favorite past-time writing has now been officially ruined because turns out I don’t really have a capable dictionary available in my head. Does that make sense? I used to have all those Estonian words that just flew beautifully into a story and now, it’s kind of half-arsed!!! It’s half Estonian, half English, plain simple words… What should I do? Start reading Thesaurus and the equivalent of same in Estonian?