34673886Lot Nobody is average – even his ears – and is so lonely that he’s become invisible. But on his 16th birthday Lot truly starts disappearing – uprooted to a magical island, then sent back fully naked in the most embarrassing of situations.

After befriending Ethan Longbow – a classmate who’s about as street as a satsuma – Lot’s insecurities start to peel away, an angry volcano begins to pulsate, and Lot Nobody goes toe-to-toe with the dastardly megalomaniac Hector Shady.

Lot must now face his anxieties, save his new island friends, and discover why the hell his bum has been so itchy …

Source Format Pages Publisher Genre Publication Date
Amazon ebook 257 indie Teen/Young Adult March 22nd, 2017

Sometimes a book comes along you didn’t know you had to read. I had this feeling with The Lot of a Nobody. I started it and was like- ah, this is probably not for me after all. I thought so because I’m a cynical bat! But then I was like: ‘Hang on a second! Stop being such a finicky witch and just appreciate it!’

And you know what? There’s a Lot (#punalert) to appreciate about this story.

What if no-one heard him? What if everybody heard him? And there was his paradox – he hated being a nobody, yet he draped it around himself like a security blanket, too afraid to peek out.

Since the death of his parents, Lot lives with his Granddad Kaspar and bulldog Etta. They have a grand time together at home.

At school and everywhere else in public, Lot is invisible. Not in the ghosty sense, but it’s just that he’s so ‘mediocre’ that he never gets noticed. He doesn’t have friends in school until Ethan comes along. They meet during PE class and it’s also during said PE class that the first disappearance of Lot takes place.


Just a pile of clothes left behind him, Lot has started to travel to this magical island where you can catch a frog, pull it’s ice cream flavored leg off (which is immediately going to be replaced by said frog) and eat it! I mean, this fantastical aspect to the magical island was just so wonderful… liquorice flavored crabs? Strawberry flavored bunny ears? Name it, you got it! XD

Trouble is… when Lot travels to and from the island, he doe soΒ naked as a carrot. On the island- the people who live there always leave him a pair of Β shorts to use.Coming back home.. yeah, it depends on where the disappearing act happened… I mean.. imagine being at school when your body gets whisked off to the island and then coming back? Yeah, you don’t want this kind of attention to yourself.

Ethan is a wonderful character… not only the perfect, fabulous and accepting friend to Lot but also a bank of knowledge!

‘It’s all up there, mate,’ Ethan declared, tapping his skull, ‘the brain is seventy five percent water. I’ve got facts swimming around up there doing front crawl all day. You wanna know something, just ask your boy Ethan. Come on, hit me with it, and I’ll blow your mind.’

‘Err, I dunno, something about… pigs?’ Lot tried, speculating what they might taste like on the island, if it wasn’t indeed bacon.

‘Easy: a pig was once publically hanged in France for killing a child. BOOM, there it is. You can put that one in your pocket and keep it, bruv.’

Their friendship really produced the most brilliant gems of dialogue. But that’s not it.. together they must face the school bully Johnny, find out about the mystery items that keep being washed ashore by the ocean and face Hector Shady who is doing everything in his power to get his grubby mitts on all of those mystery items, no matter which part of the world they are found. All very serious business that the boys get themselves involved in.

So, essentially- this is a really fun book with a solid plot and teleportation!

OK, I hear you say, sounds good, glad you liked the book. But why should I read it?

Glad you asked, my friend.

The Lot of a Nobody explores great friendship, finding your own voice, and being true to yourself. It has tons of heart and humor and some fart jokes. (I mean really, it’s not a boy-centred story unless there’s a fart/toilet experience included.) It’s also relatable on so many levels and realistic… I mean… teenage boys drooling for girls? Yeah…

Eilana was all bust and bum and boo-ya. Her lips were like beacons of crackling fire, her womanly curves were smooth and undulating, and her leg, her legs, wow, they just seemed to endlessly go up like shares in Google.

OK.. so there’s that great insight into a boy’s wandering mind… but I would also like to drag your attention to the saying: “they just seemed to endlessly go up like shares in Google” because there are a ton of those cool sayings in this book and they’re not overdone, but rather fit perfectly according to the situation and damn it- they’re just brilliant!

Still, his eyes wandered unopposed back to those two firm, harmoniously symmetrical cheeks- Lot, teenage booty connoisseur, at your service.

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I laughed so hard! Anyway- NO- this is not a smutty book at all… But the brilliance of ingenuity is just Level 723645234! The book is witty and has such an optimistic feel about it, even when dealing with the dreaded bully and Hector Shady. Lot and Ethan really have a brilliant adventure in this one and prove that they are two really decent young lads.

There’s of course other characters in the book as well.. like Benny… man, do I love Benny and his inability to remember names! I swear, even if you don’t read YA, just read this book and I double dare you not to feel energized by this book and triple dare you not to laugh. You’re going to lose! πŸ˜‰

Overall: I really enjoyed this. There’s a great mystery of Lot’s itchy butt to be solved! The story flows with perfect speed as it’s mixed with wonderful elements that make this story enjoyable on so many levels (quotes from songs, movies, books) and little bits of knowledge to make any readers curiosity peak. Baconnaise as in bacon-flavored mayonnaise? Yes, please! I need this!

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